Breath of the Wild: Late Ass Thoughts

Can we just go back the 90’s for a bit? Obligatory shout out to Ocarina of Time. Best game of all time.

Zelda Breath of the Wild. The latest addition to the franchise actually never made it NN. Apparently Nintendo doesn’t think we are famous enough. Like some basic pleb, I was forced to trade in several rare copies of old Pokemon games at my local Game City. Definitely got gypped. They barely gave me enough to cover the eShop card.


It took literally two days to download. Either Nintendo has the shittiest online of all time, or my family uses Telus. Also this is on Wii U. Maybe I’ll get a Switch when it has actual content besides Zelda.

Game loads. Intro graphics already amazing. OMG, playing this series is just a programmed roller coaster of emotions. An orchestral flourish brings me to a subdued start screen. I press play.

Link again. Wake up buddy. The beginning dungeon makes it clear your protagonist is homeless. That feeling doesn’t really go away for the rest of the game. You scavenge, you camp out, you shoot arrows; never has there been a more artful representation of Native American life.

Can I bum some smokes eh?

Over the course of one hundred hours, I thoroughly lost myself in the wilderness of Hyrule. Surviving off the land, questing it up on my horse. Freedom is probably the best part of this game. Unfortunately, this wide expanse also kills replay value.

Undeniable one of the best forays into the open world genre, Zelda brings a distinctly Japanese feel to the Western formula. You’re still clearing a series of elemental dungeons. There’s collectible upgradable weapons and armor. It plays like the Zelda you dreamed of when playing every other game released after 1995.

Technically, everything was great. I’d play this game forever if it had any heart. After a while though you realize that none of these NPC’s are real. There are no consequences for defeating Ganon. The grind for end game gear is just not worth it without tangible connections to the game world. At least in Skyrim I had a partner to go home to after a dope adventure.

What you offering?

Recommend you get your fix, then promptly drop. At this stage in your life, Nintendo franchises are just biological addictions. Use this game to avoid dealing with your real world issues upwards of two hundred hours. The Switch version allows you to disconnect from social interactions on the go. Small screen size adds kid Link feels.

Oh Jinkies!
heart of black

Would probably play again just to slay guardians. Otherwise still waiting on that Zelda from all those E3’s ago. Now that looks like something I could loose my soul to. Hurry up and give me the darkest timeline Kimishima. My body been ready.

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