Weeknd Streams Drastic Weight Loss On Facebook Live

Add another win for Facebook live, the social experiment we all can’t stop watching. Days after the internet witnessed the streaming of the hardest Drake music video of all time, rival/peer the Weeknd blessed us with his own response. Under the supervision of Conrad “Butterfingers” Murray the Weeknd is seen consuming what reports estimate to be 10 kilos of pure Colombian cocaine. Within moments he enters a near comatose state while simultaneously shedding dozens pounds. As Abel lay lifeless on screen, many in the chat were quick to ask, how did we get here?


Did not feel that coming

Most teenage girls and homosexual men are aware of the ongoing relationship between the Weeknd and Selena Gomez.  Tabloids outlets have had no shortage of stories speculating as to how the salty ex Justin Bieber was taking it. Bieber had remained mum on the subject before blasting off this tweet, perhaps after practicing his blaccent listening to More Life. The tweet immediately drew calls of fat-shaming from fat people at their computers leading to it’s deletion mere moments after posting. The second shittiest Justin on the planet then proceeded to drop a track in Selena Gomez’ native tongue titled “Despacito“. In it he laments the loss of his lover to “Jabba the Hut sized, cocaine inhaling pedophile

As nobody who has respect for music awaited the Weeknd’s comeback, patience was finally rewarded with his going live on Facebook. The Canadian pop-star and second black guy Selena Gomez has dated began by lamenting on how the industry imposed unrealistic standards of beauty upon men. Focusing his depressing ass Arabic gaze on the camera the Weekn’d proclaimed it was time for him to succumb to the demands of his fame. Cue Vevo’s behind the scenes on Can’t Feel My Face.

After a few tense moments, Dr. Murray deliberates Abel back to life. Springing to his feet, he lets off  “shamone” before bounding off screen. New super saiyan level attained, Abel began an improptu concert at the Verizon Centre. Fans were shocked as during the performance he walked from one side of the stage to the other without running out of breath. Relishing in his newfound emaciated good looks The Weeknd reportedly engaged in acrobatic dance moves, and back-flips. Ending the performance to thunderous applause the he proclaimed, “I finally know what it feels like to be light-skinned.”




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